This Masturbation Diary is by Christina. With five sex toys in her collection, including a soft spot for The Ballerina, Christina reflects on the quiet confidence of her solo sex life, the right time to masturbate, and how societal assumptions about being single shape conversations around pleasure. Her diary is a gentle reminder that pleasure can be grounding, joyful, and fully your own.
Living situation: I live solo in Germany.
Relationship status: Happily single.
Pronouns: She/her.
What sexual orientation best fits you right now? Grey-heterosexual.
How many sex toys do you own? Five, including The Ballerina, The Tennis Pro, and The Firefighter.
Do you ever use lube during masturbation? Sometimes.
What do you call masturbation? Masturbation.
How would you describe your libido at the moment? I indulge in self sex every once in a while and haven't had sex with a partner in seven years. I don't miss it but I am afraid I will not like it anymore.
Growing up, what kind of convos did you have about sex? I had a very open clique in my early twenties, and we talked a lot about sex. The girls exchanged tips, and in hindsight, these conversations were characterized by patriarchal patterns. We took pleasure or pride in making men happy. These days, I only have one friend I occasionally talk to about sex. I guess, as a long-time single person, people don't see me as adequate to talk to about sex.
At what age do you first remember masturbating? 12/13ish. I had no clue back then.
Christina's masturbation diary.
Week one.
I masturbated once before going on a prolonged weekend trip with friends. As I shared a hotel room, I knew I wouldn't have too many options once we arrived. I used The Ballerina (editor's note: yay!), it's my favourite toy!
Week two.
I came back from the trip on Wednesday and looked forward to self sex. Especially as it got closer to the weekend. Sometimes I feel that when I masturbate before sleeping, I will be sleepier in the morning and have trouble getting up. That's why I prefer evening masturbation on Thursday to Saturday.
Week three.
Busy work week and free time-wise, so little time for self sex. However, I enjoyed a rainy and thus very lazy Sunday in bed with several rounds of masturbation and falling back to sleep.
Week four.
Started reading a new book and was surprised by some juicy sex scene that sparked excitement and pleasure. The Ballerina was once again my go-to toy as my panties kept it exactly where I wanted it to be while I kept reading.
If there’s one thing Christina’s diary reminds us, besides her genius tip for hands-free vibrator use, it’s this: never assume single friends aren’t thinking or talking about sex. Pleasure doesn’t require a partner, and a sex life doesn’t pause just because we’re solo. In fact, this diary is a reminder that sex starts with the self. By sharing solo perspectives, we hope to expand the narrative, showing that masturbation is not only valid, but vital, no matter your relationship status.
Masturbation diaries by the Smile Makers Collection community are here to discuss what we rarely discuss... how we masturbate! We hope to inspire and prove that every one of us is writing our very own sexual story. We also adore that it's a great time to reflect on our monthly pleasure and note how it impacts our wellness!
Want to share yours? Let us know what a month of masturbating (or not!) looked like for you, and if we feature yours, we'll send you Smile Makers' goodie as a token of our appreciation for inspiring us all.
